Tradition & Motherhood

I've been feeling odd this week.  I tried to make a new list to replace my 30 before 30 list and I felt stuck. I had been excited to make it so being stuck shocked me.  I'm not sure who I am as an individual now that I'm in my thirties.  It was easy to make the goal list for the twenties.  Graduating from college, getting married, starting a family, starting a career, buy a house etc. The big goals and milestones were mapped out for years.  It suddenly occurred to me that I have the foggiest idea of what the big decisions of the thirties are supposed to be for me. I can think of traveling I want to do, things that would be fun but I feel lost as to what the big framework of my goals should be.  It has thrown me for a big of a loop and put me into a bit of a funk. No- I'm not upset by being thirty.  I'm not feeling old- I don't think life actually stops at thirty.  I don't need advice on how I'm still a youngster with my whole life ahead of me.  I get that.  I'm feeling temporarily lost though. I love having goals for myself as a mother but I also need to figure out some goals outside of motherhood.  I'm working on it.

Trying to separate myself from motherhood and the goals I have for my children is feeling impossible. 
 So I'll concentrating on what I do know for a bit.  I have a lot of small goals for the day to day motherhood. I have traditions I'm trying to create.  A life I'm trying to establish for my kids.  So many things I want to be for them.  So many things I want to create for my children.

My Mom and I often talk about how motherhood is a little bit different for every good mom.  There are just certain things that each Mom feels like they need to do for their kids to be a good mom.  Sometimes they are terribly inconvenient and make life a little more difficult, but it doesn't matter because doing them is what motherhood is about.  I think these special, above and beyond items vary with each mother's skill set.  For example, my Mom cooked up a real breakfast almost every school day.  She got up early to spend time with us before early morning seminary and school.  That was one of the many great things she did for us.

The current scene of choice at our house.  Hiding out someplace in a fort with a pile of library books.  I love it!

I think that because Two Fish and I had those extra years of wanting kids, but not quite getting them into our family, I have spent A LOT of time thinking about what is important to me as a parent. I asked all of the parents I loved most what they thought was the most important thing they had learned about parenthood.  I read parenting books.  I'm still always hitting the awesome Moms I know up for more advice.  In typical me fashion, I made lists of things made before I became a mother.  Obviously, my list is changing as I figure this whole mothering thing out.  As my kids change, my priorities change.  It's all a learning process.  I just hope that I'm headed in the right direction.

One of the things that I often ponder is how to bring traditions into my family.  Tradition seems like one of the most important long-term bonding tools of a family.  It has become one of my top priorities.  I'm not just talking about the Holiday traditions (which I think are very important) but the day to day routine traditions.  The little things that define our relationships and become memories that stick.

Reading.  My kids get read to every single day.  Usually we do most of our reading at night but lately we have been reading a lot during the day as well.  Our bedtime routine pretty much revolves around reading books, snuggling and singing songs.

The Outdoors- I want my kids to love the outdoors.  I want them to play outside and not sit in front of the tv.  I find peace and solace and strength in the outdoors.  We go camping several times a year.  We have spent a lot of time at my parent's cabin.  We spend our afternoons outside riding bikes and we've been to the park dozens of times this summer. We just spend a lot of time outside. Somehow swimming has become a huge part of our routine.  We swam at my parent's house all summer.  We go to swimming lessons every week now.  I'm kind of surprised (but happy) at what a big deal it has become for us.  My kids are fish.  They love the water.  I love the water, so it works.

Imagination and Playtime- I think playtime and imaginary play are so important for kids.  I've really loved seeing their imaginations develop in the past year.  Red Fish has especially become more imaginative recently.  She ropes New Fish into games all day long.  I have a difficult time keeping track of who they are on any given day.  They demand to be called by character.  They could be a rainbow dolphin, a cat, Go Diego Go,  my mom etc.  Giving them time to play together is an important part of our routine.

Family-  We go to a lot of family events. We talk to our family a lot.  I try to make sure the girls know that family is extremely important to us.  I try to make sure they get plenty of time with Two Fish, I and their grandparents.

One of the many coloful paintings Red Fish makes on a weekly basis.

Art-Three years ago, I made a goal to do art projects with Red Fish on a regular basis.  She loved doing small art projects and I really wanted to throw myself into the mess of it all and embrace it.  Thus far, I think it's going great.  Obviously, from my blog posts, doing art with my kids is something I am proud of as a Mom.  Doing art projects with my kids fits in well with my skill set.  It's the easy part of mothering for me.  There is something so therapeutic and great about being able to create with them.  In fact, I think that watching them do projects and taking the time to paint and draw with them has inspired me in my work as a graphic designer, immensely.  Staying inspired is always a struggle and I have have blasted through more work the last couple of years than I would have thought possibly, in a large part due to the creations the girls make.

Music- I debate the best way to bring music into my children's lives on a daily basis.  We've mostly been concentrating on developing a love of music.  We've been going to concerts on a regular basis.  We went to see Doo's jazz band this week and it was AWESOME.  We sing all day long.  We listen to nursery ryhmes and kids music in the car everyplace we go (even though it starts to drive me insane.)  I'm trying to find time to fit in more music time where we sit down and learn new songs.  I think I might unleash my lamination addiction on song props soon.

Gospel- We are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  The gospel shapes and informs our daily lives.  Trying to develop a rhythm and focus for teaching my kids about their Creator is something I am continually working on.  We've gotten pretty good at having a weekly gospel lesson on Monday nights.  (Family home evening) We read scriptures before bed.  We try and remember to pray often together. We go to church together on Sundays, even when it's hard.  It's the little day to day things that we are working on. I've been working like a mad woman to make a set of durable gospel lessons with laminated visual aids, games, etc.  Something I can use for a long time.  I have 85 lessons made.  It was a huge project I've been working on for two years.  I'm pretty pleased with them.  It might deserve it's own post later.

Educational- Our approach to educational stuff is pretty relaxed around here.  Red Fish developed a strong love for flashcards early on I think because of all of her speech practice.  She loves to be quizzed on new topics.  It kind of cracks me up.  She has been teaching herself to read recently.  We have a pile of like 50 file folder games.  My girls are ADDICTED to puzzles. I spent hours doing puzzles with them today and I swear they never get tired of them.  We also have a computer program called Rusty & Rosy that Red Fish plays.  She loves it and it has ton her a lot.   I don't feel a lot of pressure to formally educate them because I like to concentrate on developing their imaginations etc. but they are always pushing me to teach them more.

So right now life revolves around fitting these things into a daily routine.  A sense of tradition.