Musings of a mother/scuba instructor/graphic designer/musical entrepreneur. Totally in love with my husband (Two Fish) of ten years. We have two beautiful daughters (Red Fish and New Fish) and a nutty dog (Blue Fish) who help make our family complete and completely happy. W have learned to expect the unexpected and are always up for an adventure.
I am enthusiastic about living and learning. I love people who make me laugh. I have an ironic appreciation for the unique and absurd. I am an enthusiastic and untalented tap dancer with a love for new Christmas ornaments,art, the outdoors,the water, music, good books, skiing, and travel. My greatest calling in life is to be a Mom. I LOVE it!
We've spent hours and hours in the pool the last couple days. Red Fish is really going to miss all the water activities we've enjoyed this summer. She is totally addicted to swimming. We had many tears when we finally drug our wrinkled selves out of the water. Yesterday we went to the zero entry pool again and then today we went to my parents for more swimming with Daddy. I'm loving this weather! I hope it sticks around for another couple of weeks.Yes, I'm officially shaped like a Dr. Seuss character - I'm thinking star bellied sneetch.
Introducing baby Tania, born in the cabbage patch May 12th and adopted by Red Fish August 21st. Anybody near my age knows the serious nature of owning a cabbage patch doll. They were all the rage when I was a little girl. I remember taking my solemn adoption oath to adopt my cabbage patch baby and love her forever and I still have her adoption papers. Last week my grandparents gave Red Fish her first cabbage patch and she has not separated from it since. I'm a little worried that Red Fish thinks this is the baby we've been expecting. Now New Fish's swing, clothes, blankets, toys etc. have all been confiscated for baby Tania. Red Fish brushes her hair and wraps her in a blankie and takes her everywhere. It is so sweet to see her patting her and kissing her and rocking her. She treats her like a real baby. I love seeing her little instincts to care for a baby. Hopefully Red Fish and Tania won't get too jealous when New Fish arrives on the scene and wants to share the baby clothes.
Something I never thought I would say. I feel a huge sense of relief to have made it to this point.
For some reason it's still hard to relate all of this pregnancy stuff to actually going home with a baby. It doesn't quite seem like a baby is really in there no matter how many times a day I can feel/see her elbow sticking out of my belly. Some of the time it just feels like some sort of bizarre science experiment rather than growing a person.
The first time they handed Red Fish to us it was so strange to become a mother right in that moment. From the dull ache of nothing to arms and heart full of sweet little baby who seemed so perfect and so familiar. That moment of "yep you are exactly who we've been waiting for!" I thought somehow this would be different (not better just different) and I'm learning it is pretty much going to be emotionally exactly the same. (I'm just going to be even more tired this time.) The excitement of waiting for the baby to be born, having no idea exactly when they are coming is all the same this time. The nerves and anxieties are focused a little differently but still there. I'm pretty sure that getting that bundle of baby is going to feel the same again and is there really anything better than that? That moment of meeting new life and knowing they are forever tied to your life? Knowing that baby was meant for your family and feeling the beautiful weight of that heavenly gift.
I'm also excited to fall in love with Two Fish all over again. Seeing your husband become a Dad just has a way of doing that to you. Watching Two Fish care for and play with Red Fish has made me love him more than I knew I could. I'm so excited for that to have another beginning.
Yesterday we got a package from the National Speleological Society- Cave Diving Section. Two Fish is officially a basic cave diver. He is officially part of a select group of divers. The kings (and queens) of the tech divers. He just returned from his training, an early celebration of his upcoming 30th birthday. Nothing like a little technical dive training to make you feel alive.
Last week Two Fish went with my brothers J&M, my Dad, and a group of divers from our shop to do some cave diving in Ft. White, Florida. Ft. White is famous for their underwater cave systems. Two Fish took and passed his cavern and basic cave training. This is some pretty intense training and I'm so proud of him for passing. When we got married Two Fish wasn't exactly a water lover and he was less than thrilled about being pressured into scuba diving. When he went to talk to my Dad about asking me to marry him my Dad made him promise to get his open water certification. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that Two Fish would be the one to push me to become a technical diver or that he would someday do his cave training. It's a pretty amazing transformation.
Two Fish's underwent five days of training. He had to learn how to reconfigure his dive gear (a double set of tanks on a back plate and wing with two regulators and a big ol flashlight.) The first part of his class was cavern training. This allowed him to dive in "the daylight zone" or the opening to the cave where you can see the daylight. After the first couple days he moved on to more cave penetration. He learned how to follow lines through the cave both with and without a mask. The instructor basically tries to put the divers under stress so that they can handle stressful situations on their own. Two Fish had to practice out of air drills, no visibility drills, using reels to navigate the cave, and learned how to have the correct "trim" or dive without kicking the sides of the cave and stir things up. His buddy who came from Utah and has been training all summer with Two Fish unfortunately got a sinus infection after the cavern course and had to go home, so that was a bummer but Two Fish got to dive with several other people.
Two Fish dove in Devil's Ear which had a lot of flow and was a difficult entry. He also dove in Peacock Springs and Ginnie Springs. He did a total of 11 dives in 5 days, penetrated about 450-500 feet at a depth of approximately 90 feet. Two Fish said the hardest part of his training was staying completely focused. The level of awareness it takes to cave dive is extreme. His favorite part was the challenge and the opportunity to learn something new. One of the things I really love about Two Fish is he is always ready to learn something new and really throws himself into it. (Even if learning new Java programming from a book sounds like cruel and inhuman torture to me, he does it on a regular basis.)
This was Two Fish's first time in the South (or East for that matter) and he got to meet a lot of great people, eat a lot of BBQ, and experience some Southern hospitality. He was surprised by the number of churches in the South (something I really love.) He got to eat at the famous "Sunny's" where they have "both kinds of cheese" (white and yellow.) He hung out with self-proclaimed red necks and had to listen to my brother M's death rattle snore and late night texting. He came home very tired.
I was so happy that Two Fish got the opportunity to go do these classes. It was a well deserved vacation (as intense as it might have been.) He does so much for our family, I was really happy he could take eight days off to do something he loves. I can't say I enjoyed my week as a single parent. I was really happy to see Two Fish come home. Red Fish is going through a big separation anxiety phase and it was really sad to have her crying and screaming for Daddy every night. She had a really rough time. I had a rough time because I count on Two Fish for a lot. Lucky for us Two Fish missed us too. We really love him and we're all glad he doesn't have to be away on a regular basis.
I've started dragging the baby stuff out of the basement (well rather asked Two Fish to do it.) Unpacking the baby clothes was not nearly as much fun as I thought it would be. There were a lot of cute little things to get out but they all seemed to have a big yellow stain down the front of them that I swear wasn't there when I put them away. I remember all the bibs having milk stains but not the clothes. Luckily when I washed the clothes again most of the stain came out. I guess I had idealized what hand me downs would be like. Thank goodness for my stain stick.
The swing, bouncy seat, bathtub, cradle, etc. is already taking over the house. Our home is starting to look like a baby lives here again. It's crazy how much stuff one little person can have. I know I just did this baby thing pretty recently but it's going to be strange to have a little tiny baby again. A wonderful kind of strange. It goes by so fast and then before you know you have a crazy, sweet little girl racing around the house causing havoc. You blink and you miss it.
It's going to be so fun to see what kind of personality this next little one comes with. I'm so curious to know if she will be anything like Red Fish or completely different. It should be an adventure either way!
We went up into the mountains tonight to enjoy the last bit of summer. I don't know how the summer is almost already past. It's been a great summer and I am sad to see it pass so quickly. We joined our friends Mark and Annie and two of their neices for a BBQ and then went for a walk around the lake. It was perfect weather and fun company.Red Fish was absolutely filthy by the time we left the picnic site. She was very excited to play in the dirt and rocks. She had streaks of dirt through her hair and her skin was covered. Red Fish was a big fan of the ducks. They were all over the lake and didn't seem to be afraid of the little kids. Red Fish kept quacking at them. Notice that Two Fish has a hold of the back of her shirt so she doesn't dive right in to join them. (Because she tried a couple times.) I've really enjoyed all the family time we've had this summer. I've already got a lot of ideas for next summer when I will be feeling a little more mobile.
Two Fish had to hang onto our little monkey so she didn't jump into the lake.
Well in direct contrast with my last post- here is my latest project. (Poor Two Fish is at the mercy of my hyperactive nesting- good thing he got a solo vacation last week.) I was totally freaked out by the bright yellow paint when we first put it on but now I like it. (It helps that the room isn't empty anymore.) I've been dying to do this playroom for the last year. I bought the Melissa Sweet alphabet cards a long time ago when I saw them on sale in a toy store and have wanted to use them in a kids room. The clothespins to hang them up with were ridiculously hard to find. I bought the shelves and bins at Ikea as well as the other hanging stuff. It almost killed me that we just patched and painted the room and then proceeded to put 24 holes in the wall to hang everything up and bolt the shelves to the wall. I totally forgot about the tent Red Fish got last Christmas. It was sitting in the closet. It takes up a lot of space so I don't know if we will leave it set up all the time. Today has pretty much been like Christmas for Red Fish. She didn't get any new toys but reorganizing them makes them seem totally new. She has been racing around the playroom clapping her hands.The little table is a $7 end table from Ikea. I took two pillows and recovered them in some sunflower fabric my grandmother (Mimi) gave me and made a matching tablecloth. Red Fish keeps smelling the flowers and saying they smell good.
The marionette and unbrella are from some of my parent's travels.
The orange magnet boards are from Ikea and are to display Red Fish's artwork. Office Depot has some really fun magnets right now. The mirror and hooks are for dress up play. (From Ikea- everything was a HUGE pain to put together and hang up but it's cheap so we deal with it. It totally bothers me that they don't include any of the hardware.)
While my grandparents were sleeping last night their garage exploded. The fire was so hot it burned their cars and took most of the garage to the ground. It blew out their neighbors windows. It also melted part of my grandparent's house. Luckily some neighbors saw the fire and were able to wake my grandparents up as the fire department arrived. Two weeks ago my parents also had a much smaller fire. I'm going to the hardware store to buy myself the biggest baddest fire extinguisher I can find. I suggest you check the batteries in your smoke detectors. You never know when something like this could happen!
This graphic pretty much illustrates the emotions I'm feeling right now- excitment, terror, joy, humility that I"m going to be a Mom again, bursting with the need to accomplish things and prepare, overwhelmed by the lack of time and energy, annoyance that my AC is broken, nausea, and the feeling that my organs are being elbowed. Did you see all of that? =-)
Things are getting very girly looking around here. I'm excited to have at least one room that is decorated and painted even if it's just a bathroom. I've gotten more cleaning projects done but I still have two rooms I want done before New Fish is born. Let's hope she actually waits another five weeks to arrive. I'm kind of feeling like that isn't going to happen. Something shifted big time in the past couple days. My feet are swelling and turning colors and I swear my stomach got huge overnight. I think she dropped.
Today we tried vanilla pudding with blue, yellow, and green food coloring. Red Fish looked like she had been slimmed in one of those Nickelodeon shows. She seemed a little more cautious this time for some reason. I think it had to do with the multiple colors. She kept trying to keep them separate but everything ended up green.
They are gross. They have always always grossed me out. Now that I'm getting really pregnant all kinds of freaky things are happening to mine and I do not appreciate it. I could post a picture but I will spare you. I'm pretty sure I am permanently traumatized. Okay so I might not be traumatized once it goes back to normal (assuming it can ever resume a normal shape) but I shall remain disturbed.
So I think the fingerpainting we've been doing lately has had a great side effect. We may finally have conquered the poopy diaper wall paint phase (knock on wood.) This morning I went in to get her from her nap and she was naked (this always scares me) but she had carefully wrapped her diaper up and pointed at it and made the yucky noise. Then she asked me to whipe her bum. Horray! No hour of clean up! She is starting to understand!
Do not get flesh colored belly bands on your maternity pants. When your belly gets bigger the pants get lower and people think you are being obscene when they get a flash of the belly band. I've offended several people I'm quite sure.
Red Fish is very into her sense of smell lately. If you hand her a piece of food she has to smell it really well before she can eat it. If she passes a plant on a walk she has to stop and smell it. Her favorite part of the song "popcorn popping on the apricot tree" is smelling the popcorn ball. She is so funny!
Cari- I've been using your quiliting tutorial for my second sewing project!
Well the nesting has officially reached epic proportions. We are under major construction. I'm really going to try and get a bunch of it done before New Fish arrives on the scene. I've taken on a major sewing project that I'm actually really enjoying. I'm made more curtains, and I'm making a quilted cushion for Red Fish's newly built window seat. (I always wanted a window seat when I was little.) It's been a crazy week. I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable at this point and I'm soooooo over the nausea and puking. I'm really looking forward to that going away. 9 months of flu-like symptoms is enough to drive a person insane.
On the upside I'm actually really looking forward to the birth. I've put a lot of time and thought into preparing and I'm getting really excited. There is really nothing more amazing than having a child join your family. It's crazy to think there is going to be a tiny baby around here again. That part sure doesn't last very long. Red Fish is only 20 months and she is such a little girl already. I'm really trying to soak up this shrinking amount of time when it is just the two of us all day. Tonight she was having kind of a rough night so the two of us just lay on her big stuffed dog and snuggled for half and hour while she patted my face. I love the little moments like that. Red has gotten so independent lately and she is always so full of personality. It makes me excited to see what New Fish is going to be like. I wonder if she will be like Red Fish or completely different from her sister. I'm looking forward to them just being sisters! I always wanted a sister when I was little (although I'm pretty fond of my brothers.)
It will be kind of nice to feel a little more confident as a mom this time around. Last time I was terrified I wouldn't know how to take care of Red Fish or that I wouldn't feed her right or be able to comfort her. I know every child is different but hopefully I won't leap out of bed every time New Fish sighs. The idea of ever leaving the house with two babies sounds a little terrifying. One toddler who throws some pretty impressive tantrums is terrifying enough at times. My greatest fear right now is that I won't recognize the labor when it happens. That might sound silly but I'm afraid I won't know when it's really time to go to the hospital. Keep your fingers crossed that everything goes as smoothly as possible.
Red Fish has several tutus that she has been totally obsessed with lately. She likes to wear them two at a time. It's really cute. Then she twirls and dances around the family room. I may have to sign her up for dance class when she is a little older.
We went out to dinner last night for what was supposed to be a celebration. Instead I spent most of the time plotting the death of my waiter.
We specifically went to a restaurant that we know brings a baby plate (a little plate of sliced bananas and bread) as soon as you sit down. There was a long wait to be seated so we knew we would need food fast. Red Fish likes to go out to dinner and she's generally really good as long as she gets something to eat pretty fast. We brought her snacks (none of which she would eat) and we asked for the baby plate three times after we were seated. The waiter did not bring the plate for 45 minutes and he never brought the bread basket at all. Our meal took way over an hour to come (pasta and avacado eggrolls don't take that long to cook.) The waiter seemed to wander around the restaurant aimlessly and stop to stare at us every few minutes. Red Fish was having a complete melt down because she was starving. I wanted to just go home. Scott was getting really tired of asking the waiter to bring the freaking bread. A good time was not had by all.
Tip to all waiters- do NOT withhold food from a toddler and a hungry pregnant woman. You may not survive. Five more minutes and I probably would have stabbed you with my fork. Bring the bread basket or risk a painful death.