Full Term

Something I never thought I would say. I feel a huge sense of relief to have made it to this point.

For some reason it's still hard to relate all of this pregnancy stuff to actually going home with a baby. It doesn't quite seem like a baby is really in there no matter how many times a day I can feel/see her elbow sticking out of my belly. Some of the time it just feels like some sort of bizarre science experiment rather than growing a person.

The first time they handed Red Fish to us it was so strange to become a mother right in that moment. From the dull ache of nothing to arms and heart full of sweet little baby who seemed so perfect and so familiar. That moment of "yep you are exactly who we've been waiting for!" I thought somehow this would be different (not better just different) and I'm learning it is pretty much going to be emotionally exactly the same. (I'm just going to be even more tired this time.) The excitement of waiting for the baby to be born, having no idea exactly when they are coming is all the same this time. The nerves and anxieties are focused a little differently but still there. I'm pretty sure that getting that bundle of baby is going to feel the same again and is there really anything better than that? That moment of meeting new life and knowing they are forever tied to your life? Knowing that baby was meant for your family and feeling the beautiful weight of that heavenly gift.

I'm also excited to fall in love with Two Fish all over again. Seeing your husband become a Dad just has a way of doing that to you. Watching Two Fish care for and play with Red Fish has made me love him more than I knew I could. I'm so excited for that to have another beginning.