To The Moms

Lately I have been hearing from a lot of friends around me about difficult experiences trying to conceive or just devastating stories of loss from early miscarriages to still born babies. I'm amazed at how many people I know have experienced something really difficult in this area of their lives. Well, actually scratch that. Creating a family through birth and adoption is way more than just an "area of your life." Sometimes people treat you like you just need to buck up and deal with it. Like the physical, emotional and spiritual pain is just something you can swallow and move on with life. But sometimes you experience things that run so deep they change the very core of your being. Those scars remap your heart. Yes, that applies to many other painful experiences- this is just the one that is on my mind.

Sometimes when I think about some of the painful losses I see around me, I can only imagine what that must feel like. But, between our miscarriages and failed adoption, I do feel like I have some idea of what you are going through. I don’t know if we will ever know why sometimes it takes such intense sacrifices in order to bring children into our families. I can tell you that from my own experiences I know that those sacrifices are recognized by the Lord. They do not go unnoticed. The Lord has a way of compensating us for devastating losses like the one you have experienced. Although it doesn’t remove the grief and disappointment you must be going through, He does have a way of lessening the pain. You don’t forget but the pain doesn’t always stay so sharp. I’ve experienced a lot of tears and misery during our journey into parenthood but I’ve also seen incredible miracles enfold our family. It’s really difficult sometimes to feel so out of control in your own life and in your ability to bring children to your family. When I got pregnant this last time my OB told me that there is something special about being a mother who understands the fragility of life and motherhood. You understand in a way that few women probably do what a miracle motherhood is. You don’t take it for granted or think it's a given that children will come into your family. You really know what a beautiful, rare, and special gift it is when kids come into your family and how special the different ways they arrive are. I think that knowing this makes you more in tune to the miracles that will surely enter your family. I think that pain that deep leaves a mark on you and exposes your heart to special experiences. The blessings are still coming, not today or tomorrow, maybe not for awhile. But Keep the Faith. Our Father in Heaven is ever mindful of you and loves you beyond measure. May His many tender mercies be with you in the coming hours, days and weeks ahead.