Freaking Out

It's amazing how one little thing can lead to a disaster. I left the bathroom door open when I was putting away some of the laundry. Oh if only I had forseen the disaster that would follow.

Red Fish locked herself in the upstairs bathroom (we will be removing that lock immediately.) At first I thought I just couldn't get the outside doorknob cover to cooperate because I've had problems in the past but then I realized it was actually locked. I start trying to coax Red Fish to come unlock the door to no avail. Then I hear the bathtub running so I'm freaking out that she is going to drown and when I look under the door I can see Red Fish running around the bathroom (singing and giggling of course) and unraveling the toilet paper. The toilet flushes several times (I'm not sure what went down the toilet but so far nothing horrible has happened.) New Fish has been fussing this whole time and now begins to scream at the top of her lungs to be fed. The burglar alarm suddenly starts going off and I realize that Red Fish has taken my keys and the key faub with the alarm buttons on it with her into the bathroom. Luckily it didn't get flushed. So now the alarm people start calling and I have to keep answering because they will send in the cavalry to stop the intruders. I was tempted to ask them if an almost two year old little girl could be considered a dangerous intruder. So I'm trying to convince the alarm people to ignore the alarm for the next little bit while my baby screams in the phone and I lay on the floor outside the bathroom to watch Red Fish and make sure she isn't drowning. Finally Red Fish comes over to the door and we have a conversation through the crack under the door and she unlocks it. She comes out and we hug and she runs away while I shut the water off and throw a towell over the biggest puddle.

Then when I come downstairs (what could not have been more than 60 seconds later) there is crayon ALL OVER the walls of the kitchen and Red Fish has climbed up on the kitchen table and is eating out of a bowl of cereal like a dog. When she sees me she jumps up and proceeds to throw the cereal all over the room. When I get her down she takes off and dips her head in the dog's water bowl. Then when I catch her and am trying to drag her away from the bowl she kicks it over and bites me. At this point I'm so frazzled I don't even know how to discipline her and poor New Fish is pretty much purple from screaming for a bottle.

I fed New Fish and then went in the other room and screamed for a few seconds. Deep breaths. Daddy has to come home from work sometime right?