Thursday, October 23, 2008

Dilemnas of a 1st time Mom

So today I was just having one of those mornings during which I felt no need to get dressed for the day. My Mom's dog is here visiting and I had the dogs playing in the backyard while Red Fish and I had a leisurely morning. Next thing I know the dogs have figured out how to escape from my newly fenced yard and I have to chase them down the street in my rather embarrassing pajamas at 10 am. Hello new neighbors- here I am in all my glory! The day has only gotten better from there. They attacked my realtor who came over to say hello (now I am wearing my high school volleyball sweatshirt and jeans - no hair or makeup today) and the stupid barker breaker I've been using (it makes a very loud and annoying noise meant to scare the dogs) went berserk and wouldn't shutup. Red Fish started crying because she got knocked over during the hullaballoo. It was a regular circus around here. Sigh...

I've been reading "What To Expect The First Year" a chapter a month for the past year. I mostly skim for relevant issues to my parenting style but I like that it sort of prepares me for each stage of Red Fish's life so far. It also gives me a bit of a reality check because most of the time I assume she is much too little for things. Actually I just have a hard time letting her grow up even in tiny steps. The book reminds me to allow her new experiences. So here enters my dilemna. I have been giving her a sippy cup for a long time now but until the last week or so she mostly used it as an accessory rather than an actual instrument for aquiring liquid sustenance. I read last week in WTETFY that babies should begin to rely mostly on a sippy cup somewhere around the first year. This was shocking information to me because the thought hadn't even occured to me. When I first read it I figured it was a personal choice and Red Fish just wasn't ready because she doesn't drink much out of the sippy. Then in the last week she has gone crazy with the sippy cup and elected to get rid of her afternoon bottle unless it is in a cup. I think she is trying to tell me something. Perhaps it's a sign that I'm the one who isn't ready.

This also applies to her food. Red Fish is still mostly a toothless wonder (she has two bottom teeth and couple on the top, side of her mouth.) I'm a big fan of baby food. Nice, organic, easy, nutritious baby food. I've been adding alot of finger foods like string cheese, steamed veggies, chopped fruit, cheerios etc. trying to allow her to self feed but if I go just with the finger food she won't get nearly the variety she had in the jars- I'm just not a great grocerry shopper or cook.

So here is my question... What are you guys feeding your toddlers and when did you wean from the bottle? I need some ideas for nutritious food. Am I holding her back by clinging to the baby things? The advice of my wonderful mama friends would be greatly appreciated.

4 comments:

Amanda said...

"I'll ask around", said the single girl with no children.

Lisa said...

I think it's helpful to read several different books, just so you know that there are many ways to approach things, and no one way is the "right" way. Sometimes books present things as absolutes when they are not. They're just one author's opinion.

On the food thing, I honestly can't remember what my kids were eating at age one, so I'm not much help there. I'm pretty sure I had phased out the jarred baby food and they were pretty much eating table food, maybe mashed a bit or cut into very tiny pieces. I think they had more teeth than she does, though.

I'm a late weaner. I tend to feel that we make our kids grow up too fast, and there's nothing magical about the age of one to say that they "should" be off the bottle. I think you can certainly take her cues--if she's choosing to cut down, then by all means, go for it, it will make your life easier in the long run. But I think that it's perfectly fine for a toddler to have a bottle long past age 12 months. I think 18 months to 2 years old is where I would aim to have them completely weaned if it were me. I think the bottle is often a strong form of comfort, and I'm hesitant to take that away from my kids too soon. I also believe that some children have strong emotional needs to suck, which is why I'm also OK with binkies past the age of one too.

I do think it's important to not let them run around with bottles all the time. I think bottles should be for in mom's or dad's arms. I see the bottle, used in this way, as a bonding tool.

My advice would be to ask various moms (as you are doing) and read a couple of different books, and then really think deep down how you feel about it. What does bottle-feeding mean to you? What do you think it means to her? What purposes do you feel it fills for her? And take her cues. I do believe, whatever age you wean, that it should be as gentle as possible. And it doesn't have to be done quickly. You can gradually cut down over several months.

Blogful said...

I asked my sisters the same thing about bottles. One said the "suck" reflex is soothing and natural and to let the kids use both a binky and a bottle until 2. I didn't really agree with that and Jane stopped the binky around 1. As far as suck, there are sippy cups out there that may as well be a bottle. They have a really soft nipple on top. (Wal-Mart for <$2) Jane really liked those. As for variety in feeding, here are some ideas for finger food--cut up small of course.
Mandarin oranges, blueberries, strawberries, avocado, steamed carrots, steamed corn, steamed green beans, toast, waffles, cheerios, french toast, cheese, ham or hot dog, chicken, black beans, yogurt (messy, but a good place to start if you want to teach spoon and fork use. Mashed potatoes are good for that too). noodles, cucumbers, bananas. Really anything you eat, just smaller. I rarely used a plate either. Put down one of those plastic placemats, or just on a clean high-chair tray. If you are trying to get rid of the bottle, just start to ween it out or use it only at bed time or something. By the way--kids will tell you (show you) when they are ready to move on. Some kids want to grow up sooner than others. Let her set the pace. There is no right or wrong time. It's whatever works for you.
I didn't really like WTETFY. It made me paranoid. Although--to this day I stock popsicles in my freezer for when she cuts her mouth.

Steph said...

Making my entrance into your blog. Yay! Anyway... at every checkup we go to, our pediatrician gives us a few pages about what to expect until the next checkup. They say the bottle should be booted by 18 months. But a little 16 month old isn't showing much interest in giving it up. She likes sippy cups during meals, but it has to be the bottle when she's tired. We still feed her baby oatmeal. She got to the point that she would only let us feed her first thing in the morning when she was really hungry. So from there we didn't have much of a choice. Her favorite foods are peaches, bread, and yogurt. Anything dippable is a hit too. Last night we had pasta. One side of her tray had red sauce, and the other italian so she could choose what to dip in. It was a hit.

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