Tuesday, October 15, 2013

On The Field Of Life

 Just a few pictures of the end of New Fish's first soccer season. She spent most of the time running around holding hands with her friend and having fun (which drove her coach crazy.)  It's all for fun and an attempt and explore what she likes.  I want my girls to play team sports but fear they might have inherited my lack of athletic skill.  (They did do pretty awesome at skiing last year and they are great swimmers.) I just really loved playing volleyball in high school (1A I would have had no shot in a bigger high school) and it was such a great experience for me in every way.  I never had a big interest in sports growing up and then suddenly desperately wanted to play volleyball and asked my Dad to buy me a ball so I could try out for a sport I didn't even understand. He spent hours hitting the ball to me in the backyard trying to draw out some tiny shred of ability.  I worked really hard to get on the team by my sophomore year and gained a lot from the experience over the four years of high school.  It was a character shaping experience for me.  It will never be one of my greatest talents but forever something I will be happy I did.

She liked being goalie or "Queen of the kingdom" as her little friend defined it.
I have spent a good deal of time debating how much time to put my kids in activities and still ensure that they get a rounded experience, get to try new things and seek out what they love while still making sure they get to be little kids and that they get to PLAY.  It is definitely a delicate balance and my girls really enjoy being involved in a lot of things but they need to just be kids.  I've also spent a lot of time lately thinking about how to make sure they both get to do their own thing and shine in their own little spotlights.  New Fish wants to do everything that Red Fish does and vice versa a lot of the time.  It's great and it's fun and I'm inclined to go with it most of the time but I also fear the competition it sometimes breeds between them.  I want them to feel like they are free to have unique talents.  New Fish has been reading up a storm lately and it has caused a bit of strife with Red Fish because she is worried New Fish will catch up with her at everything.  They are both very smart little girls and they are so close in age.  Red Fish gets to play piano already and a few other things but New Fish is always right on her heals and gets the benefit of watching Red Fish and learning from her.  I think we may need to try some separate activities and see how it goes but inevitably I will hear a lot of "it isn't fair!"  How do mothers try to be fair and address the individual needs of their kids and teach them to be friends and that it's okay to be unique and all of that?


Blogful said...

We recently had a lesson on fair and I haven't heard that particular complaint since then, so I am going to share it. You pretend someone got hurt and needs a bandaid, but you give everyone in the room a bandaid. Talk about how fair doesn't mean everyone gets the same thing, fair means everyone gets what they need. THEN have a lesson about needs vs wants. Right now I am working on entitlement and gratitude. "This for breakfast?! Ugh." Tell me how to solve that one!
PS: You sure have cute soccer players

Somers said...

I tell my kids that cheering their brothers on, and being happy for them when they get something is just part of being in a family. When one person does something/ learns something/ participates in something/ receives something, the whole family benefits because that person is happy. And on the flip side, part of being in a family is being willing to share your extra experiences/ talents/ gifts/ whatever with members of the family who didn't get those same things.
We also really like to play a game where we each name our favorite thing about each person, it helps them understand that they are unique and have different, but equally awesome, good qualities.

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