Pick Me Up

This year, I made a lot of goals.  I decided that life was about creating yourself, not finding yourself.  I just needed to work harder to create the life I want instead of feeling overwhelmed and out of control.  I wanted my mantra to be- just handle it.  If I didn't like the way things were working then I'd just change it.  I started working out, eating better, studying the scriptures more and just trying to handle things better.  I made more effective schedules for the girls and I and tried to manage my workflow better.  Some things like the freezer meals are really working for me and reducing my stress level.

It's February.  A gray nasty February with no snow.  Now that the winter blues and cabin fever have set in, I have hit a major slump again.  I don't want to work on any of my goals.  I'm feeling major mommy burnout.  I'm still doing all of the things I need to.  The girls have had plenty of reading, art, music and mommy time. They have had fun days at the children's museum, puppet shows, library days, dinosaur museum and aquarium trips.  We've been to swim lessons.  Their world is fine. Nothing is terrible.  I'm caught up on work.  The house has been in slight disarray but not spinning out of control.  I'm just not feeling it though.  I'm cranky, tired and not feeling like taking care of my responsibilities or changing anything.  I needed (and maybe still need) a reminder of why I'm trying to change things.  A reminder that things can be different.

  And then, yesterday a tender mercy of the Lord was sent my way via my two darling daughters.  When I got up in the morning, they were already playing together in the toy room, a lovely way to start the morning.  Then, they played for six hours straight.  Seriously.  No fighting.  No tattle telling.  No screaming or whining. No entertainment required.  I brought them snacks and lunch.  I helped them change outfits (about seventeen times.)  I sat in my room and worked on my computer in complete peace for six hours and listened to them sing, dance, giggle and play make believe.  It was amazing.  I caught up on tons of graphic design work.  I made important phone calls.  I felt like a different person at the end of the day.  They were perfectly happy.  I hated to break them up for New Fish's nap-time.  Red Fish had to tuck New Fish in bed in order for her to cooperate.  The toy room looks like an atomic bomb went off but it was totally worth it.  We took dinner over to my Mimi's and met Two Fish and had an indoor picnic. (I forgot to take my carmera.) It was the most peaceful day- a ray of sunshine into the gray of winter.  Sun and outdoor play will come again.  The changes I'm trying to make will be worth it.  I've just go to keep from burning out, it's just winter blues and cabin fever.

A few more peaceful days of happy little girls playing make believe and finding something fun to look forward to will get us through it! Now, who wants me to plan something fun to look forward to and get me through the rest of the winter?