Musings of a mother/scuba instructor/graphic designer/musical entrepreneur. Totally in love with my husband (Two Fish) of ten years. We have two beautiful daughters (Red Fish and New Fish) and a nutty dog (Blue Fish) who help make our family complete and completely happy. W have learned to expect the unexpected and are always up for an adventure.
I am enthusiastic about living and learning. I love people who make me laugh. I have an ironic appreciation for the unique and absurd. I am an enthusiastic and untalented tap dancer with a love for new Christmas ornaments,art, the outdoors,the water, music, good books, skiing, and travel. My greatest calling in life is to be a Mom. I LOVE it!
My friend JJ is in town for a couple weeks so we took the kids out to the farm and went on a wagon ride. They saw some baby animals, got pecked a couple times by the chickens (although they didn't seem to mind) and ran around together.
Red Fish kept saying Yay! She picked this big rooster out to ride on. She's kind of a dare devil. She didn't even want to hold on half the time. Kiddo A was not such a fan of the ride. It was pretty long and I think she started to get sick.
We've been walking on a lot of the trails by our house lately and testing out Red Fish's new backpack. Red Fish gets so excited when we get the backpack out she starts trying to climb in it by herself. We all love family walks. Hurray again for the nice weather. We're planning to use the backpack on our family trip this summer. (And no we don't have two dogs-we are dog sitting.)
Initially I was apprehensive about reading fiction about Christ. I read the author's note first and I think it was my favorite part of the book. Anne talks about her decade plus of research and her journey from atheist looking to disparage the story of Christ to becoming a true believer and devout catholic. Her spiritual journey is inspiring. Her level of commitment to her research is inspiring. I'd almost rather read a book about that.
The actual novel is written from Jesus's point of view, he being 7 years old, as his family prepares to leave Alexandria in Egypt and travel back to the Promised Land. Along the way, he begins to understand that he is not an ordinary boy, but is confused by the implications of who he might really be. There are some definite inaccuracies in the book and a few aspects that don't totally jive with my personal beliefs about Christ but overall the book is lovely. The narration is sincere and very true to the 7 year old aspect. I kind of wished the prose was a little more complex and it's difficult for me to picture Christ's mind being quite so immature at that age but the book is written with an innocence that I did really like. I also appreciated the effort to reserve judgement on the characters.
The book made me think through a lot of the myths of Christ that I still sometimes picture in my head. I never pictured the caravan of extended family that supported and traveled with Mary and Joseph through their exile. I had never thought about how Christ's life really affected his family members. I loved how involved and loving they were. The book does a great job of describing the political climate and the religious fervor of the time period. The temple in Jerusalem and the importance of their religion in their everyday lives were well described.
There are a few symbols in the book that I particularly appreciated - especially the references to the living water. I loved that Christ was shown to have knowledge he couldn't explain and that he feels a change in his knowledge and maturity at the age of eight (the age of accountability in the LDS church.)
The book is a pretty quick read and worth checking out. I haven't read any of Anne Rice's other 27 books so I'm not sure how it compares but from what I have heard this book is a great departure from her other work.
I wasn't going to respond to your comments and you will notice they have not been published. I was really going to ignore you but now I'm annoyed. Mostly I just wanted to say that if you don't like my blog then stop reading it.
As to your accusations that I act like my kids are miracles-you are totally right. They are miracles. The adoption of Red Fish was a powerful miracle in my life. This pregnancy is the same. A lot of people seem to have all sorts of opinions about my giving birth after adoption. They range from "doesn't that always happen?" (Which no it does not.) to the really supportive people who understand the situation well to the occasional naysayer who looks at our situation negatively. The truth of it is that Heavenly Father has chosen to send my kids in special ways. This is the road our family has taken to bring our family together-what that road will look like in the future I can't say. I've really come to a place of peace that my kids will come to our family however is meant to be. If you can't understand or appreciate that than it probably has more to do with you than it does with me.
You say you don't know why I continue to talk about adoption now and that I am hurting the cause- I think you are wrong. My family is only one example of the many ways that adoption brings families together. Every family doesn't need to look the same. I love to talk about adoption and will continue to tell people what a wonderful thing it has been for us. If you have questions about adoption, I would be happy to talk to you about it as best I can.
You say I am hurting the people around me by flaunting my pregnancy. I'm not even sure how to respond. I have a lot of really wonderful people in my life who are very supportive of me. I hope I am supportive to them. The people I love hopefully know that I love them and wouldn't hurt them intentionally. We all go through hard things and different things are hard for different people. I'm pretty sure none of them would feel the need to post anonymous attacks on my blog. It's pretty obvious from your comments that you know very little about me or my life. So to sum things up- buzz off.
This little girl loves her Daddy! We are both so lucky to have him.Red Fish working hard on some art projects for the grandpas today. It was intense work.
Our church was canceled today on account of the swine flu. We spent the day making art projects and cookies. If you are looking for a recipe for good home made (and liable to kill you) oreos that are super easy- try these
Oreos Combine 1 box devil's food cake mix, 2 eggs, 1 tbs. milk, 3/4 c. shortening. Cook 9 minutes at 350.Use cream cheese frosting for the filling.
We've had a great week with cousin E. Today was the final performances for her music camp she has been attending so we all went to watch her. She did a great job! It was Red Fish's first concert. I was really nervous about bringing her but she was a perfect angel the whole time. She loves music and she loved knowing that E was up there playing. Plus the concert was pretty short so Red Fish just soaked it up. We have been having fun all week. We went out to eat, went swimming, played go fish for art, and had a movie night in our pjs. We watched Hook. How has it been almost 20 years since that was made? That made me feel old. Red Fish has pretty much just been soaking up the extra attention. She is going to be devastated when E goes home. During the day while E has been at her camp Red Fish goes around the house calling "Wuuuuuvaaaaa! Wuva!" (It's her name for cousin E.)
Cousin E has come to stay with us for a week and Red Fish is thrilled. She already has E chasing her around, playing ball, and reading stories. She thinks Cousin E is here just to see her. (Please excuse the naked child -4 dirty outfits and three baths in one day is as much as I can handle.
The baby is the length of an english hothouse cucumber (about 14 inches) and hopefully weighs close to 1 and 2/3 pounds. Last week she was the size of a rutabega (I get an email comparing her to produce every week.) The network of nerves in her ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. She may now be able to hear both my voice and Two Fish's as we chat with each other. New Fish is inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid.
Well Red Fish's table has arrived and is all put together. She couldn't be more thrilled. She can color without Mommy standing over her going " oh no not there- on the paper not the table!" I'm wishing the table were a little bigger because she wants me to sit with her and it's hard to balance on the one cheek I can fit on the bench. We sat at the table this morning and drank orange julius and I think Red Fish was in total heaven with a non sippy cup and a real table. She is going to want to eat every meal there now.
Today was a rough day. Red Fish hasn't gotten enough stimulation this week due to the never ending rain and me feeling under the weather. Twice this week she has resorted to using "finger paint au natural" all over her room during her naptime. SO GROSS-Motherhood is a dirty job. Then today during the two minutes I was in the bathroom she went upstairs, got into a closet, opened my supposedly childproof art kit and dumped all of my seperated, organized beads out and sprinkled them around the room. Then she painted the wall with a little rubber cement. She also ripped a key off my laptop today and threw a plate of food against the wall. If I don't plan at least one really stimulating fun activity a day she pretty much goes crazy. We have a list of activities I plan to try and get to every week during the summer. This week we've really only accomplished two. We went swimming at the dive shop with Two Fish again last night (it's lovely because it's really ridiculously warm like a giant bathtub.) Then this afternoon the sun came out finally for a couple hours, so we hurried outside and I let her paint the back patio with washable paints. Red Fish was more interested in painting the dog house a neighbor gave us when they moved. I didn't mind since Blue Fish has never once used it.
I think Red Fish enjoyed the cleanup more than anything else. She is a waterbaby at heart. She loved playing in the hose and rinsing off the sidewalk. Our plastic table arrived today so we can start doing a lot more messy projects outside. I panic too much everytime the art supplies get out of control in the house.
Today I was shushed by a one year old. I asked Red Fish a question while she was watching Little Einsteins (something new she has discovered and is totally in love with) and she turned around and said: "Mama! Shhhhh!" She even had her finger in front of her lips. I was totally shocked. Excuse me! How dare I speak during her show! You really should have seen the very serious expression on her face. It was all I could do to not burst out laughing.
Well my Mom spent part of the day on Tuesday with Red Fish while I went to the doctor and then my mother in law came all day yesterday. I pretty much stayed in bed all day and did absolutely nothing. I woke up feeling like a person today. Yay!
We took our tour of labor and delivery at the hospital this weekend...at two in the morning. We didn't even know where it was, we had to look it up on the internet. (the labor and delivery wing- not the hospital.) Just when I start to get more comfortable and less stressed about being pregnant we have a scare. Everything is fine now but I was pretty freaked out. A few hours of monitoring and an ultrasound and we went home. I'm just glad we have family nearby willing to come take Red Fish in the middle of the night. I'm glad I have a husband who stays really calm and I'm grateful that I'm still doing well with my pregnancy and nothing big was wrong. Now I have to work at getting my "bubble of peace" back because I'm afraid I might have shattered my old one.
Red Fish has learned how to open doors (especially the doors to the outside) and the climbing has continued. Now she can escape her playpen and is well on her way to jumping from the crib. I was in bed taking a nap yesterday (Red Fish and I are both sick) and I felt little fingers tapping me on the arm. NOOOOOOO! I'm so not ready for this. She did it again when One Fish was in the shower this morning. She is WAY TOO LITTLE. She is only 18 months old! I'm going to have to buy a mattress or take her crib mattress and put it in an empty room so she can't climb her dresser. NOOOOOOO! This is a whole phase of child proofing I'm not ready for.
This is when most babies are considered viable so it's a pretty big milestone for us. I think my pregnancy seems to be moving a little faster now for some reason. It's kinda nice. I'm halfway through my hypnobabies class. Still getting sick a lot but at least that will go away after I give birth and isn't forever. I'm feeling much more peaceful about the whole pregnancy in general and that has helped a lot. I'm into big time nesting mode and working on the house trying to get things a little more organized and ready. I've still got some time so i haven't been going crazy or anything.
My Mom has always wanted to run through the fountains at this nearby outdoor mall. She finally has a grandchild old enough to do it with her. So on Saturday we went out to lunch and ran through the fountain. The force of the water knocked Red Fish over so she was a little timid but as long as someone was holding her she had a blast!
- & Other Things She Taught Me Along The Way- by Ruth Reichl
Well I'm finally joining the neighborhood book club. I've been meaning to for months but I never seem to figure out which book they are reading or where they are meeting until the last minute. So today my neighbor brought over this book so I could read it before the get together tomorrow night. Lucky for me it was nice and short and didn't take me long to read. It was a decent read, definitely not going on my list of favorites but I wasn't bored either.
The book was a little scattered but I like the underlying ideas. It's about the pressure women born toward the beginning of the century felt to conform to certain ideas of womanhood and how they struggled to give their daughters something more. It was interesting to think about what the pressure to live within limitations especially after the war and depression could do to a woman's happiness and mental health. I think there is still a lot of that today.
My biggest irritation with feminism is that it sometimes seems to me that it's no longer about women making choices. We get pulled so many directions and get told we can do it all when that isn't reality. You can't be the perfect mother, wife, business woman, housekeeper, etc. while wearing high heels and having a beautifully decorated house. I do know a few women who make it look like they do it all but it's a facade. You have to make choices everyday and those choices aren't easy and aren't always respected. (Story of every woman's life right?)
I'm a terrible cook and I hate even trying. I'm not a great housekeeper and I try to juggle a career while working from home and being a full time mom. The balance is never totally right. Sometimes I'm doing great at my career and I carry around terrible mommy guilt that I can't attend to Red Fish every minute. Other times (like right now) I think I'm really engaged in being a mother and I'm totally uninspired as an artist. I get disorganized and I fall behind in my work and that's frustrating. I don't know if the balance will ever be right completely. On the other hand I've gotten to do a lot of really cool things in my life. I've had some incredible opportunities and always been encouraged by my family, husband, and friends to shoot for whatever I want in life. Maybe thinking I can do it all isn't always a bad thing, I just get tired of the pressure sometimes. I wonder how the next generation of women's opportunities will be effected by our choices and what opportunities await them.
Tonight Two Fish needed to do some training with his drysuit in the pool to get ready for his cave diver training in Florida later this summer. Red Fish and I decided to join him in the pool. Red Fish was a little concerned when Daddy would dive down but she still had a good time. She especially liked having her own gear- a wetsuit and her life jacket (that she thinks is kind of like Daddy's scuba gear.)Yes this is the world's tiniest pink wetsuit. Grandpa bought it for her right after she was born. She is a natural born diver- do you see her giant stride entry? =-) She loved seeing all of Two Fish's gear and swimming around with him a little before he went down.